&hearts rachel corinne.

Jobby Job.

So… I will be working for that magazine again. Remember when I was working for a magazine from like March - July? Well, yes. That one. I am pretty excited to have money again. YES! Plus, I get to work from home whenever I want. Basically, what this means is, I will still be sleeping until Noon. Then, I will just sit in my bed and eat cookies as I work. It will be amazing… much like it used to be. If nothing else, this will at least pay my car payments until February-ish. Then, I can get my amazing government job back.

Also, good news, stalkers! I think I am going to start lifecasting again starting sometime tomorrow. Tomorrow is Monday, November 30th, FYI. Don’t get too excited, though. I have said I was going to start lifecasting again at least 30 different times, and so far, I have not. Fail, I know.

What else… Oh! I started reading Twilight again. Amazing. Soon, I will once again hate every male on the planet since they pale in comparison to Jacob Black and Edward Cullen. Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle seem to make all males look like complete douchebags, too.

I should probably go now, but one last thing… since I apparently still have not made myself perfectly clear.

I FUCKING HATE BEING LIED TO.

…Carry on.

6pm

Brilliance.

Me:

I have found out that a few of the 15-year-old Stickam skanks have taken it upon themselves to talk shit about me.

Cedric:

Oh, let me guess... about J-Rad?

Me:

I don't know what they've said, specifically, because they are pussies, and are nice to me... but then talk shit about me, but I'm sure it's all because they want to deep throat Jared's penis nightly, and they are jealous teenage skanks. That would be my guess.

Cedric:

But they are upset that they cannot suck his penis because that is reserved for your throat. Am I right? I'm right, ain't I?

Me:

Honestly, they can suck his penis all they want. Fucking dick leeches.

Cedric:

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Dick leech?

Me:

Why would I give a fuck who sucks whose penis? That's less penis sucking I have to do.

Cedric:

Hmmm... oddly flawless logic. It's perplexing.

Me:

As long as it doesn't go any further than slobbering all over his genitals, I'm cool. I'd like to hire a posse of hoes to always give my boyfriend's head. That way I don't have to. It's brilliant.

Cedric:

That's disgusting. You ever heard of herpes? That's in the mouth, too, you know.

Me:

Oh yeah... and one of them hoes sucked three different dicks in one night. So, I should probably keep her away. She's probably oozing out the mouth with popped herpes blisters and shit. She just has puss spilling out of her face hole. Dirty ass skank.

Cedric:

Ahhh, God. That is a disgusting image.

Me:

I agree.

Cedric:

That's impressive, though. Three in one night. I mean, I wouldn't let her suck me, but it's impressive that her face hole could take such punishment.

5pm

Mom Texts Me From Work.

Mom:

You have to keep the cat company today.

Me:

She's in my room licking her butthole.

Mom:

Okay.

Me:

On my bed, too. My bed is the perfect place for butthole licking.

Mom:

It's better than having her on your bed with a dirty butthole.

1pm

Video from the Dane Cook show I went to on Sunday. He’s amazing!

2pm